Australia’s fertility rate sits at a historic low of 1.6 births per woman, part of a global shift. In Japan, 27 per cent of women aged 40-44 are childless; in Germany, 21 per cent.Yet cultural scripts lag. A 2023 Melbourne University study found 68 per cent of childless women over 40 face assumptions they’re “lonely” or “selfish”, compared to just 12per cent of men. Across the globe, similar trends emerge. By 2030, 25 percent of Australian women will remain childless, in Spain, 22 per cent of women aged 40-44 are childless, and in Singapore, the rate climbs to 30 per cent. The lead-up to Mother’s Day stirs up this universal disconnect between demographic realities and persistent stereotypes that equate womanhood with motherhood. Media, politics, culture, art, and stories have for centuries framed childlessness as a “crisis”. But there is hope. We are starting to see more common celebrations of the myriad ways women nurture. From policy reforms recognising diverse caregiving models to art that honours non-traditional legacies, literature and art are rewriting the script. Australian author Enza Gandolfo’s novel Swimming dissects motherhood’s ambiguities through protagonist Kate: “I may not have made children, but I have made books. “Sian Prior’s memoir Childless rejects pity narratives, framing childlessness as a lens for seeing kinship beyond biology. Prior’s work joins a growing canon, including Sheila Heti’s Motherhood, which interrogates the societal pressure to procreate, asking, “Why bring a child into a world I’m still figuring out?” Even pop culture echoes this shift: Mitski’s Working For The Knife and Florence + The Machine’s Free re-frame fulfilment as self-determined, not tied to maternal roles. TV shows Killing Eve and The Queen’s Gambit normalise childless women as complex protagonists, not tragic anomalies. These stories collectively dismantle the myth that caregiving must be rooted in biology. As a writer, I am grateful for this shift. Though I have a son and a mother, in my own personal life, I saw tension between societal expectation and lived reality playing out in Kathmandu’s Bright Future Centre. There, my 77-year-oldcousin Gail and founder Isabel Armer, 83, redefine caregiving. These Melbourne women do not have biological children, yet they’ve spent decades teaching in rural Nepal, funding programs, scholarships and negotiating hospital bills for families. “Keeps us busy,” Gail smiles, embodying Kenyan activist Wanjiru Kamau-Rutenberg’s ethos: “Motherhood isn’t a biological act. It’s the labour of believing in someone’s future. “Their work aligns with global movements: in South Korea, “auntie networks” provide communal child care, while in Sweden, policy reforms extend parental leave to non-biological caregivers. These shifts highlight care giving as a shared human responsibility, not a gendered mandate. In my own novel Never Look Desperate, the protagonist, Minh, 55, navigates similar terrain. A cinema worker and occasional confidante to colleagues, her childlessness is an accumulation of near-misses- a miscarriage, fleeting relationships – not a manifesto. When a Tinder match prods, “No kids? Whynot?” she deflects with jokes. As birth rate drops, a reminder motherhood isn’t womanhood Yet her legacy lives in small acts: mentoring a younger co-worker, offering kindness to lonely cinema patrons. Minh’s story reflects broader urban trends: a 2024 Guardian survey found 58 per cent of childless women over 40 engage in mentorship roles, challenging the stereotype of the “selfish” singleton. This Mother’s Day, I’ll think of Minh buying chocolates for a young girl who lives next door and Isabel bartering for school supplies in Kathmandu. I’ll think of the precious company of women friends – mentoring and advocating without the weight of societal labels. I’ll listen to Florence + The Machine and muse on Sian Prior’s Childless. I’ll question, what is the future of motherhood, of Mother’s Day, and will future generations feel less triggered than those before them? Rachel Matthews is a Melbourne author and lecturer
Published in the West Australian 9 May 2025 by Rachel Matthews
