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Book review: Never Look Desperate, Rachel Matthews

A comedic novel that cradles emotional warmth at its core.

16 Oct 2023

Ellie Fisher

Set between post-lockdown Melbourne and the digital landscape of dating apps, Rachel Matthewsโ€™ third novel, Never Look Desperate, takes the idea of mid-life romance to a place of gentle humour.

Over the course of the novel, three narrative threads are offered to the reader. In one, we meet Bernard, a man in mourning for his wife and father following their deaths during the pandemic. In another, we encounter Bernardโ€™s mother, Goldie, whose relationship with her son is crumbling โ€“ and, in a third, we are introduced to Minh, a woman with โ€˜a messy shoulder-length bob with a thick fringeโ€™, whom Bernard meets online.

Each plot line continues in interspersed, alternating chapters over the course of the novel. The characters on which Donโ€™t Look Desperate pivot are largely absent: Silvia and Marvin, Bernardโ€™s late wife and father. Their ghostly presences propel the narrative forward โ€“ the spaces their departures leave in the lives of their loved ones creating cracks in which the novel sets down roots.

While Bernard is a widower, Minh has had a series of short-term relationships. โ€˜Each one,โ€™ Matthews tells us, โ€˜sparked a new haircut.โ€™ Her relationship with her family is complicated; their arrival in Australia as refugees creating a complex web of trauma and memory. Minh meets Bernard on Bumble. Their conversation online begins slowly and awkwardly. Both are weighed down by their personal relationship histories; trying to connect with strangers over the internet in mid-life is no easy task. Intimacy in the digital age โ€“ framed by the isolations unearthed through the course of the Melbourne lockdowns โ€“ is a theme Matthews returns to repeatedly throughout Never Look Desperate.

Before his first date with Minh, Bernard stands in the bathroom at work and reflects on an article he has read recently about a US psychologist discussing the difficulties and benefits attached to socialising in a digital world. Expounding on the โ€˜importance of being socialโ€™ despite the rise in social phobias that โ€˜many people grappled with, after being inside for so longโ€™, the article fills Bernard with complicated feelings.

He remembers, with shame, the pleasures of eating takeaway pizza alone, and of the blank loneliness of Zoom meetings. He glances at himself in the bathroom mirror, and feels the ridges in the skin of his face. It is a moment that passes quickly in the trajectory of the novel, but which feels as if it imparts the hard kernel of Matthewsโ€™ narrative intent.

For both Bernard and Minh, communication and connection are uneasy routes, filled with embarrassing moments and awkward messages โ€“ but their desire for anything that remotely approaches genuine love or affection is as equally strong as their feelings of quiet disgust at the sleazy dating scene in which they find themselves.

Read: Book review: Fake Heroes, Otto English

Never Look Desperate is an easy read, which feels as if it would work well as a mini-series or short film. In Matthewsโ€™ novel, as Bernard, Goldie and Minh journey toward deeper self-awareness, and forge stronger connections with one another, we gradually come to realise the profound impact of intergenerational trauma and social isolation on each of their lives.

Never Look DesperateRachel Matthews
Publisher: Transit Lounge
ISBN: 9780645565393
Pages: 304pp
Publication Date: 1 September 2023
RRP: $32.99

Ellie Fisher is a poet and writer. Her creative work has appeared in Westerly Magazine, Gems zine, and Pulch Mag, amongst others. Ellie is studying Honours in Creative Writing at The University of Western Australia. You can find her on Instagram at @bodilyofferings.

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Rachel Matthews - Author
About Rachel

Dr Rachel Matthews is a Melbourne author, lecturer and teacher. Her debut novel Vinyl Inside received strong press reviews and was highly commended by the Australian Vogel Award judges.

Discover Rachel's Books

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Don't miss the magnificent Justine Sless, comedy that strips back the chaos and infuses with wit and pathos..โค๏ธ

#MelbourneComedyFestival #MICF #MelbourneEvents #ComedyMelbourne #LiveComedy StandUpAustralia JustineSless MCShowroom WhatsOnMelbourne MelbourneNights ThingsToDoMelbourne ComedyNight LaughOutLoud SupportLiveComedy AussieComedy WomenInComedy FunnyWomen FestivalSeason MelbourneLife NightOutMelbourne CheapTickets BravoShow YorkshireTeaVibes
Warning: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are advised that this post contains the name and images of a deceased person.

In my home town of Shepparton, this statue commemorates Uncle William Cooper (1860 to 1941), a Yorta Yorta man who, despite having no legal rights in his own country, led a march to the German Consulate in Melbourne to deliver a letter protesting the Nazi persecution of Jewish people, who he said were fellow citizens of the world. When I stand and look at the beautiful bronzed form of a remarkable human, it is hard to believe the void that was our high school lessons in 'Australian history' โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ–ค
Thanks to @womensagenda for giving space to this conversation...
CW: This article contains references to sexual violence.

#womeninsports #breakthesilence #authorslife #changethegame #womensissues
We met Priscilla at the Coachman Inn tonight, Parkes. Great to see women in Elvis suits, an alternative Elvis and lots of rockabilly. Then the treat of a burnt orange sky on the way back to Victoria, sending love to friends in country areas, stay safe โค๏ธ
Finally. All students in Victoria will learn the real history of our state. 
๐Ÿ’›โค๏ธ๐Ÿ–ค
#Treaty #TrueHistory #Victoria #Education #MovingForward
็ด ๆ•ต Suteki: Beautiful Japan (and the big buddha HK) โค๏ธ
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#beautifulspaces #royalcaribbeancruise #travelwriting #japantravels #storytellingphotography #royalcaribbeaninternational #cruisetime #cruisetravel #cruisevacation #japanlove #japanoninsta #culturaljourney #momentsintime #travelwithpurpose #travelmood @royalcaribbean @royalcaribbeanasia @royalcaribbeanhk #traveloften #goexplorewander #adventureanywhere #havingagoodtime #authorslife #storiesoftheeveryday #bucketlisttravel #fictionwriter #australianauthor #australianauthors #aussieauthor #actionadventure #traveldiary #japangram
๐’๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ ๐š๐ญ ๐’๐ž๐š: ๐‰๐š๐ฉ๐š๐ง ๐€๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ง/๐–๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐Ÿšขโœจ
In the past few years, Iโ€™ve had the privilege of hosting writing workshops across Australia, Nepal and Finland - but this ship journey from Hong Kong to Japan was unique!

Sailing through late Autumn into Winter, on sea days we explored themes like sacred places and sensory stories through craft, history and food. What a privilege to hear pieces created by our global audience (from Finland, Alabama, New Zealand, Australia, Scotland, Hong Kong, Philippines, to Chile!). The audience also experienced Japanese poetry, origami and an impromptu Sumba dance performance (alongside my Mumโ€™s art works from Country Vic on the big screen).

Off the ship we enjoyed the reds and golds of Japan in late Autumn (Fukuoka, Saiki Minato, Kanazawa, Kyoto, and Sasebo).

๐˜ผ ๐™จ๐™–๐™ข๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š ๐™›๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™–๐™ช๐™™๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™š:
Whiteness, the sound of winter, walking in the rain on cold, frosty days, Hong Kong skies, sombreness, Northern Lights, low-laying sun, soft snow falling like a blanket, plum pudding, prawns and sunshine, mother: warm towels, soup and dumplings, crisp air, a mountain walk to grandparents, the joys of model trains, Freddy the dogโ€™s obsessions, whiskey in Scottish snow and kilt surprises, riding a horse in elbow-deep whiteness, Christmas with Grandma, city blocks at first-snowโ€ฆ

A thank you to Pastor Paul from San Francisco for his incredible bilingual reading, (performed in English and fluent Cantonese in front of his very proud husband).

My favourite lines:
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜š๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ญ๐˜ด ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ, ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต
๐˜ˆ ๐˜ง๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜บ ๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต, ๐˜ข ๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ.
๐˜ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜บ, โ€œ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฌ!โ€- ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜บ 

Grateful to the superb Roma (Events Management) and sound tech master Miguel, the wonderful audience and Spectrum of the Seas crew, representing 41 countries! And to James as always, IT and green-tea expert, photography and comic relief โค๏ธ
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Meet Erwin from the Philippines, a dining manager with lightning skills and great humour, grabbing a few hours of sunshine between shifts in Sasebo (a port city in Japan with US influences post WW2). After months at sea, he can't wait to see his family in Jan. Erwin swears by ginger for seasickness (we've had a a few rough passages). Pressure-point wristbands worked for me. Placebo?
The best part of running seminars on a ship is the people. Crew and passengers from 41 countries. More soon. The ocean internet has also been a wild ride. 
ๆ–ฐใ—ใ„ๅ‹้” Atarashฤซ tomodachi (new friends) โค๏ธ
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#beautifulspaces #royalcaribbeancruise #travelwriting #japantravels #storytellingphotography #royalcaribbeaninternational #cruisetime #cruisetravel #cruisevacation #japanlove #japanoninsta #culturaljourney #momentsintime #travelwithpurpose #travelmood @royalcaribbean @royalcaribbeanasia @royalcaribbeanhk #traveloften #goexplorewander #adventureanywhere #havingagoodtime #authorslife #storiesoftheeveryday #bucketlisttravel #fictionwriter #australianauthor #australianauthors #aussieauthor #actionadventure #traveldiary #japangram
โ€ข Women celebrating women in later life
โ€ข People celebrating women
โ€ข Women on bikes
โ€ข Women navigating grief and violence with tenacity and grace.
โ€ข Women with secret suburban lovers.
โ€ข First Nations women leading the way.
โ€ข Our honorary Meno Man VIP Tony Birch in fine form!

Snapshots of our recent final event for 2025 in Fitzroy.

Enormous thanks to Ian and Rob from the @tinpot_fitzroynorth, famous for its friendly, fun atmosphere...not forgetting the legendary cherry pie โ€” and to the lovely Katie Smith from @ramonabookshop. Thanks also to our fabulous facilitator, the always entertaining @trishboltonwriter and Tony B for the pleasure of his readings.

What a feisty, wonderful crowdโค๏ธ
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#MenoTour #melbourneevents #menopausematters #melbournelifestyle #ilovemelbourne #melbourneliving #authorevent #aussieauthor #spilledwords #writingsociety @cityofyarra @uqpbooks @allenandunwin @transitloungepublishing @rmitwp @literary_listings #writercommunity #australianauthor #authorslife #ownyourstory #midlifewomen #menopausematters #midlife #menopauseawareness #menopausehealth #writingcommunityofinstagram #writingcommunityofig #agepositive #womenover50 #womenshealthmatters #midlifehealth #healthyaging #midlifewellness #storiesoftheeveryday #spilledwords #fictionwriter
โ€ข Women celebrating women in later life
โ€ข People celebrating women
โ€ข Women on bikes
โ€ข Women navigating grief and violence with tenacity and grace.
โ€ข Women with secret suburban lovers.
โ€ข First Nations women leading the way.
โ€ข Our honorary Meno Man VIP Tony Birch in fine form!

Snapshots of our recent final event for 2025 in Fitzroy.

Enormous thanks to Ian and Rob from the @tinpot_fitzroynorth, famous for its friendly, fun atmosphere...not forgetting the legendary cherry pie โ€” and to the lovely Katie Smith from @ramonabookshop. Thanks also to our fabulous facilitator, the always entertaining @trishboltonwriter. 

What a feisty, wonderful crowdโค๏ธ
.
.
.
#MenoTour #melbourneevents #menopausematters #melbournelifestyle #ilovemelbourne #melbourneliving #authorevent #aussieauthor #spilledwords #writingsociety @cityofyarra @uqpbooks @allenandunwin @transitloungepublishing @rmitwp @literary_listings #writercommunity #australianauthor #authorslife #ownyourstory #midlifewomen #menopausematters #midlife #menopauseawareness #menopausehealth #writingcommunityofinstagram #writingcommunityofig #agepositive #womenover50 #womenshealthmatters #midlifehealth #healthyaging #midlifewellness #storiesoftheeveryday #spilledwords #fictionwriter
Rachel Mathews - Author

Dr Rachel Matthews is a Melbourne author, lecturer and teacher. Her debut novel Vinyl Inside received strong press reviews and was highly commended by the Australian Vogel Award judges.

Discover Rachel's Books
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